All My Life, I've Only Been Pretending
by jadelyjustjadely
Summary: To everyone else, it happened at a regular speed. But to Eponine, time seemed to slow down. Jumping in front of the gun, being thrown backwards, the blood- it was as if life had saved this moment particularly for her. Modern Les Mis AU, [recent] movie verse. Two times Eponine wanted to kiss Marius/wanted Marius to kiss her, and the one time she/he did.


**A/N**; okay so my obsession with les mis has taken over, and uh  
i did this  
it's gonna be a series of oneshots? modern au, two times _ wanted to/almost/etc _ and the one time they did/had to  
weee  
[title from on my own, obviously. idk i'm just choosing song lyrics cos i'm awful at titles omg]

The first time she feels it, she's not entirely sure what it is.

At first, she thinks it's a fluke. Thenardiers' hearts do not soar, nor do their knees shake. They are known for, well, not being known. They skip towns and cheat and con men out of their money. Thenardiers do not _love. _At least, not blindly.

Yet there she was.

"Hey," she calls, grinning. He turns, and smiles widely. They run to each other, laughing.

"How was your day?"

She sighs, lowering herself onto the grass. "Nothing to celebrate, nothing to kill myself over. We had a test, but you know how I am in english- the teacher's an old hag, I swear," she groans. "You?"

He chuckles, shaking his head. Eponine's smile falters, but it quickly returns to her face.

"Well, it went pretty well, all things considered. R didn't show up drunk. Enjorlas even _almost_ smiled!" his eyes are crinkled from smiling, and Eponine's chest throbs. Marius turns his head, and sighs.

"You really shouldn't skip so often, though, 'Ponine," he looks back at her. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

Eponine shakes her head vigourously. "It's not a problem. My teachers don't really care, and god knows my classmates don't. My parents'll never know. Where's the harm?"

She shrugs, and he frowns. She looks down at his hand, and grasps it.

"You won't get in trouble either, Marius," she says firmly. "I promise."

His eyes scan her face, and before she can even flinch, one of his arms is around her. She melts into the embrace.

"You really should respect yourself more, Ep- oh," his arm leaves her shoulders, and she pouts. "My father is here, it would seem."

Eponine nods, stands up, and offers him her hand. Once he's up, grabs his bag and starts walking towards the van.

Eponine starts walking home when she sees him turn, smile, and wave goodbye.

She giggles, and waves back, only to see that he had been waving to his friend.

.

"So, do you have anything in mind?"

Eponine shakes her head, looking at her hands. "No. It's all too expensive," she mutters. Marius' eyebrows furrow. "And I'm good, anyways. What about you? Need some stuff for your very dangerous, very powerful... _strike?_"

Marius punches her arm lightly, and she beams. His gaze slowly drifts away from her, though, and she freezes.

Across from them is a young girl, about the same age as them. Her blonde hair falls over her shoulder in curls, and even from a distance, she's beautiful. She smiles shyly at Marius, who remains in awe.

Eponine looks between them, her stomach sinking.

_Marius, even you at your dumbest would not be so idiotic as to love a complete stranger._

"Are you oka-"

"Who was that girl?"

"I-"

Marius cranes his neck, hoping to see the blonde again. Eponine spots her, standing with a man in a green coat. Her heart catches in her throat._ No._

_"Cosette."_

Marius looks down at the brunette, eyes wide. "Oh, 'Ponine. I have a huge, huge favor to ask of you."

Eponine's cheeks flush. "Anything for you, _Monsuier._"

"Find her for me?"

Eponine looks up, and takes a step back. "I'm- oh," her eyes search his face, and she crosses her arms. "Marius..."

"Please," he begs. "I'll give you anything- how much money would you need?"

He starts digging through his pockets, but she rests her hand on his, stopping him.

"Never mind money," she takes a deep breath. "I'll do it. I know my way around, it shouldn't take too long."

Marius takes her hand and presses his lips to it.

"Bless you, 'Ponine, you're a saint!"

She smiles sadly. "You're practically _singing, _mister Pontmercy. She really made quite the impression on you."

Marius sighs. "You have no idea," he lets go of Eponine's hand. "I'm in love."

On the outside, Eponine appears a bit awkward. She smiles, but it looks more like a grimace, and her hands are clenched. Marius, of course, doesn't notice.

On the inside, the world as she knew it is crumbling and falling and flooding. Her eyes are on Marius' lips, and she leans towards him, wondering that maybe, if she were to kiss him right then and there, he'd forget about _her._

Sadly, she'll never know.

.

To everyone else, it happened at a regular speed.

The bullets came, seemingly out of nowhere. It was a _strike, _lead by _teenagers. _Things weren't supposed to get messy.

However, if there's one thing Eponine has learned, it's that things are always messy.

And while the boys, _The Barricade Boys, _they called them, because of the huge pile of furniture they sat upon in front of the building, dug for their shields and weapons, some of them ducking for cover, her Marius had decided to be an idiot.

He had stood up. He had put himself in the line of fire. He had put himself at risk of _death, _to save another's life.

To everyone else, it happened at a regular speed.

But to Eponine, time seemed to slow down. Jumping in front of the gun, being thrown backwards, the _blood- _it was as if life had saved this moment particularly for her.

So there she sat, her coat covering her chest, her hair out of her cap. The gunshots stopped a couple moments ago, right before she went numb. She coughs, and feels something warm on her chin. Brows furrowed, she reaches to wipe her lip, and sees the red.

She laughs.

"'Ponine, what- what are you doing here?"

He squats down beside her, arms drenched in blood, and she can see bruises forming. _He shouldn't be hurt at all._

"What? Eponine, you're going to have to speak louder, I'm sor- oh, God."

She looks down, seeing what Marius is bawking at. Blood is seeping through her coat, and Marius rips it open.

"'Ponine, God, 'Ponine, what did you do?"

"Don't ju-ust stare at m-my chest, M'suier M-Marius," she murmers. "'S not p-olite."

He looks up at her, eyes wide and afraid. Eponine's smile fades. Her hand reaches for his face, but it falls. Understanding what she wanted to do, he picks it up and holds it to his face. Pulling her closer, he cradles her.

"You're not going to die, you know that? You're going to live. I'm going to save you."

"As much a-as I'd l-love to be saved by y-you," she replies. "It's n-no use."

Marius shakes his head. "No. Eponine, I swear to God, you _will _live!"

"'M sorry," she gets out. Marius looks confused.

"For what?"

"Dyin'."

Marius lets out a sob.

"C-can you do me a f-avor?"

Marius nods. "Anything."

"You d-don't have to say a-anything, but can you k-kiss me? Just on the f-forehead."

Marius' eyes widen, and Eponine thinks he may have finally realized.

"Eponine, did you-"

Eponine starts coughing, and he sits her up. She spits blood onto his pants and shirt, but he doesn't care. She closes her eyes.

"You know, Monsuier Marius, I think I was a bit in l-love with you."

She dies with a smile on her face, and Marius' lips on her forehead.


End file.
